Friday, October 21, 2005


Oh-oh...the "C" word. No, not Commitment, not Conspiracy, not Carbohydrate; no, not even the word that makes women shudder the world over--Condoleeza, but...

...Yes...CUDDLE. There, I said it.

Well, this fellow's gone and done a lot worse--used it without mercy, in the craftiest, squash-any-competition, take-on-all-comers statement yet.

ICUDDL2 has, in one bold stroke of brilliance, upped the ante for would-be lovers and previously happy couples everywhere, by unabashedly confessing--damn it, outright promoting this very personal, very dreadful behavior.

Now, we can't say for sure which gender he's pitching his marketing approach to, given that the truck shows evidence of having been rear-ended, and that this photo was snapped in West Hollywood. No matter.

Furthermore, we cannot deduce if he means to say, I CUDDLE TOO, or that he is merely the successor to ICUDDL1.

The fact is, people, that we're all going to have to go just that little bit further now in order to be considered mateworthy, or to keep our significant others from straying.

I propose a counter-strike--a proactive, pre-emptive boast campaign to get back in the game here. Dig deep, seekers of companionship, devoted love, soul-bonding, and fornication! Know that you do indeed possess marketable, sought-after talents in this realm of romance; you hold the supply to meet that special someone's demand--well, that desperate, suicidal someone's demand.

To this end, to facilitate your inevitable running out and pairing off with the first mammal that'll have you, I offer the following personalized plate suggestions.

God, you so owe me.

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